A Minority, Within A Minority, Within A Minority

| Mon 16 Jul 2012 | 31 Comments | 3935 Views

Author Bridget Gaudette

I'm an ex-Jehovah's Witness with a focus on Black atheism, humanism, and sex-positive dialogue. | @BridgetGaudette

I’ve never met anyone like me.. and it can be very lonely.

I am a Black female Atheist: a minority within a minority within a minority.

My mother, father and brothers have disowned me.

I am thirty something in a childless, interracial marriage.

I have a graduate degree but make less money than I did as a server.

I’m a nerd; I love video games and I’m a bibliophile.

I was raised in a cult.

I was married in Las Vegas.

I have a fetish for office supplies.

I have a severe case of wanderlust, but have only had one true vacation in ten years.

My IQ puts me in the gifted category, but I ended up with a GED.

I play the violin (badly).

I love hypothetical questions and when people talk about themselves.

I’m a social introvert.

I’m unique, I suppose.. but at what cost?

I don’t have a single blood relative that has anything to do with me. I only have a handful of close friends. I don’t have many people in my life that I love and trust either. How can this be when I am stunningly beautiful, exceedingly intelligent and ridiculously interesting?! Well, part of the reason might be because I am a minority, within a minority, within a minority. Yesterday, I was in a room full of freethinkers and while it was an incredible experience, I was yet again the only Black female Atheist. Others noticed this fact and brought it to my attention and I even I had two people tell me that I had an “extra” responsibility to be highly visible. I was taken aback at first. Why do I have an EXTRA responsibility? Wow.. no pressure there right?

Well.. they were right. I do. Look at any study on religion in the United States and you’ll find that Blacks, especially the women, tend to be the most religious. It’s expected. No one meets me and wonders if I am liberal or Christian.. these two things are so significantly disproportionately true, that they are assumed and not a second thought is given. The sad thing about this is that I’m sure I’ve unknowingly met several Black female Atheists and yet we’ve both assumed that the other was a Christian and didn’t come out to each other because we were making false assumptions. So, compared with, say, the plethora of middle-aged White men who are vocal Atheists, there are only a handful of Black females (and what an incredible group they are!) and all of us have this extra responsibility.

Last year I decided to be more visible. I became an “activist” of sorts (to date I don’t know if I’m doing it right). I’m not a charismatic speaker, I don’t have a dramatic or unique conversion story… perhaps that makes me more relatable? Still, just being seen, without seeking celebrity or fame is enough to help others come out. I doubt she knows this but AJ Johnson, the Development Director for American Atheists, has A LOT to do with my decision to be more active within the Atheist movement. She is the first Black female paid staff member of a major Atheist organization that I had noted after realizing I was an Atheist myself. Since then I have admiringly looked at her and American Atheists, the organization, and wanted to be a part of it. Florida is seriously backwards when it comes to secular issues and I was hopeful that I could have an impact on the state and be more visibile, perhaps as a State Director and have a positive effect on Black females like AJ did.

Now other Black women can SEE me too and think, “I can do that”.

I am the co-founder of Secular Woman, whose mission it to is to amplify the voice, presence, and influence of non-religious women.
Your generous contributions will go towards my travel expenses to secular conventions and help to keep me blogging. Thanks in advance!  -Bridget

  • http://hypochristi.blogspot.com/ HypoChristi

    Beautifully written, Bridget. While we share the female atheist category, how being Black has affected how others view you as automatically Christian and even falling into to this trap yourself with other Black women, it adds much-needed understanding to experiences a lot of us can’t know personally.

    For awhile, I was the only openly out LGBT member of my university’s atheist club. Sexual orientation’s less “visible” than race, but that’s the closest I can get to knowing what’s it like to be a minority (LGBT) within a minority (women) within a minority (atheists) in the room.

    You will inspire Black women, just as AJ has done for you. She’s been an inspiration for me as well. Keep being stunningly beautiful, exceedingly intelligent, and ridiculously interesting :)

    • http://www.SecularWoman.org Bridget Gaudette

      Thanks Christi. Being an out and open LGBT has its own struggles and I can only imagine how that is.

  • http://web2.airmail.net/uthman Ed Uthman

    I sympathize with your plight, but you may want to back off on describing yourself as “stunningly beautiful, exceedingly intelligent and ridiculously interesting.” If you are any or all of these things, it will be immediately apparent to others without the advertising. Less self-aggrandizement and more self-effacement are more likely to put you on the popularity track, IMO.

    • http://Www.marcdavidbarnhill.com Marc Barnhill

      And don’t forget a sense of humor, Ed. I’ve heard that can add to one’s popularity as well.

    • http://www.SecularWoman.org Bridget Gaudette

      I was joking, which I thought was obvious. I’m actually fat and probably not societally beautiful, but thanks :-)

  • Jocelyn Dervis

    Nicely written! I admire your strength to standup against a family backlash. I agree that Florida is backwards (and seemingly getting worse…) We need more people standing up and asking for a secular government. I hope all of us can get a movement for Florida going. :)

    • http://www.SecularWoman.org Bridget Gaudette

      smh @ Florida..

  • http://northierthanthou.com northierthanthou

    Awesome post Bridget. I hope you continue to assert yourself, and I hope you find it a rewarding experience.

  • Demetrius Ross

    Well said!

    • http://www.SecularWoman.org Bridget Gaudette

      Thanks!

  • http://n/a Marcrooseler

    Yes to this article and I agree with most of the comments. Natural Born Atheist. Not an activist, but I put myself out there and am just as proud of myself as some believer in whatever religion and over the years I’ve met more black female Atheist than one could imagine. Difference is between this article and the other organizations with black Atheists, is they don’t speak out and don’t feel a need to and while there are issues, they exist as I do and people just don’t know they are until you ask them/us.

  • http://www.SecularWoman.org Bridget Gaudette

    Well, I’m working on helping women be more out and open. :-)

  • http://AntRya.nET Antony Ryan

    Sorry to hear this! In the UK you would not be classed minority in any of these senses. People can be so narrow minded!

    • http://www.SecularWoman.org Bridget Gaudette

      :-)

  • Apple

    Black. Female. Atheist. Nudist.

    I am ALSO stunningly beautiful, exceedingly intelligent and ridiculously interesting. Pff, what can I say it comes with the territory.

    I love your sense of humor. Sweet with a side of not too serious.

    • http://www.SecularWoman.org Bridget Gaudette

      Thanks! You got it!

  • http://atheist.org AJ Johnson

    Bridget —

    Thank you so much for writing this piece and for mentioning me. I had no idea I had an influence on you, and am honored to get such a kind acknowledgment in your post. I’m thrilled to be a positive role model and to provide proof that we, the multi-minoritied, can make it into leadership roles within the Secular Movement. You, too, are in one of those positions as state director. Thank you again for this — and for all that you do Florida. American Atheists is lucky to have you and I’m glad to be your friend. :)

    -AJ

    • http://www.SecularWoman.org Bridget Gaudette

      “Multi-minoritied”.. I like it.

  • Nathan A. Ingold

    I really enjoyed reading this post. It reminds me of the desire we all share to be noticed, understood, and appreciated because of our unique characteristics. I appreciate your conscientious approach; you are obviously self-actualized. In time, others will jump on board.

    You may want to check out Black Freethinkers Radio on BlogTalkRadio.com. There you may find a very necessary and rewarding sense of kinship. :-)

    • http://www.SecularWoman.org Bridget Gaudette

      Black Freethinkers is great!

  • http://www.affinisapparel.org Robert Affinis

    Very well written and poignant article. I am originally from NJ and recently relocated to Phoenix, AZ. The first black woman I encountered asked me; “welcome to AZ; are you looking for a church home”? The meme like trance has the minds of many black women in this country. I am assured; however, your organization will demystify this trance. Thanks for the article.

  • mutazilites freethinker nsajigwa

    Being a minority within minority within minority…well…as a solitude lonely freethinker here where i live, i can relate that somehow…except that i am a man (and may be i add…not a homosexual..!)
    my solution to tackle/overcome that was to groom fellow independent thinkers of whom some ended up being freethinkers like i am, very few in fact…
    however out of ostracism of years, i came eventually to gain the respect because of my personal conduct of life…”living good even though i don’t believe in god”…
    in that way i was practicing “ethical culture philosophy”, even without being aware of the existence of same…
    books were and still are my best friends/partners…seeking to know…seeking after the truth…
    so books on history-including that of world religions, philosophy and etc…
    and then bhaang! in 1999 came full-force here, the computers and internet…
    it was on browsing that eureka!! the world was opened to me as i came to know of humanism organized and all its sister tree branches of non theism…atheism, agnosticism, pantheism, Epicurus-ism, ethical culture all being “freethinking” avenues..!
    it is haard, even harder here but that is what i am…born and raised in these circumstances to confront & cope with them
    and that is life…to cope and to confront…is it not..?

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  • James Smith

    As someone that came out as an atheist at age 13 in the mid-50s, I know how you must feel. Even though I am white, male, and was protestant, I was far from the typical WASP.

    At that time, an atheist was considered to be unworthy to live. Yes, I have been assaulted physically more than once. My relationship with my family was strained to the point that I left my parent’s home the night I graduated high school and didn’t see them for nearly two years.

    Hang in there. It does get better.

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  • J

    Hi, Bridget

    Glad to hear you guys are out there doing good work and being visible. When I lived in the US, I used to go to a monthly atheist discussion group, and the “where are the black atheists” issue would pop up every once in a while. We’ve had a few black non-believers, some of them women, show up at meetings (it is an open group), but they would usually not come more than a couple times — which isn’t typical, the group is being going for almost 10 years now. And it wasn’t simply a matter of being the only ones, I think. There were as many women as men in the meetings. We had an Indian lady who was a regular, and a Middle Eastern gentleman who would show up every once in a while, people of all colors, political leanings, and walks of life. So we are at a loss: where were the black non-believers, and why didn’t the stay?

    Anyway, I’d like to nitpick on a little thing. While I get the sentiment behind “minority^3″, technically women are actually a majority, number-wise. Well, at least in countries that don’t kill baby girls.

    • http://twitter.com/BridgetGaudette Bridget Gaudette

      Actually technically women are a minority. Remember, some words have more than one meaning, like “cast”. My usage was in reference to a sociological category within a demographic. The term refers to a category that is differentiated and defined by the social majority, that is, those who hold the majority of positions of social power in a society. Women do not hold the power, they are therefore a minority.

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Category: Activism, Atheism & Religion, Women & Equality