I Don’t Tell Black People I’m an Atheist

| Mon 3 Sep 2012 | 30 Comments | 5524 Views

Author Bridget Gaudette

I'm an ex-Jehovah's Witness with a focus on Black atheism, humanism, and sex-positive dialogue. | @BridgetGaudette

Yes, I’m Black. Yes, I’m an Atheist. During the last year I have made baby steps towards being more out and open about the latter (since the former is obvious). I have gone to atheist meetups and conventions. I have volunteered my time for several atheist groups. I changed my Facebook “Religious Views” to Agnostic Atheist (we all know it’s official when you announce it on Facebook). My twitter also reveals my disbelief in gods. I started a women’s organization (Secular Woman) focused on empowering nonbelieving women. If you Google my full name it’s no secret I’m an atheist.

All that being said, I am still living a double life. It occurred to me just a few days ago that, while I am fairly comfortable telling White folks I am an Atheist, I tend to be less open with Blacks. When asked about subjects related to my religious belief I will usually say, “I don’t go to church” or “I’m not religious”. Strangely enough, I’ve never been pressed to give more information beyond this.

Why don’t I take advantage of these opportunities?

Fear. I can trace my discomfort back to my childhood. I remember in elementary school being told I “acted White.” This was meant as a serious putdown (for more on Acting White, read the Wikipedia entry on it). It meant, “you’re different” or “you think you are better than us.” Is Atheism “acting White” or somehow not Black? Well, it’s difficult to even find statistics on Black Atheists because it is still very rare. Certainly less than a percent of Black Americans are openly Atheist. So, being a Black Atheist basically epitomizes “different,” moreso than even being a Black Republican, etc. I think most of us can admit that one of the most important things for children is to feel accepted, to be a part of the group. Growing up in a cult, but still going to public school, I was desperate to fit in. For a time I even attempted to change my speech patterns and behave in a way that I thought was “Blacker.” It never really worked, the comments about me acting or sounding White are still commonplace and guess what? It still stings. So, basically, I don’t tell Blacks I am an Atheist because, in my mind, that separates me from over 99% of all other Blacks and it results in a very uncomfortable feeling.

Okay, now watch this video, Black Folks Don’t Do: Atheism.

A comment was made, “There’s a huge connecter between god and community and being together as a people and for one to say that “I don’t believe in god” almost disconnects you from the culture as if you lose your card as being a part of the culture and I think that’s scary for many people.” It is scary. I know I’m a grown woman, but I still struggle with being accepted, possibly because I always felt disconnected as a child.

Rest assured, I find my behavior unacceptable. It’s not unusual to have to do things we find uncomfortable in order to progress. Plus, and more importantly, it is likely that I am interacting with other Blacks who are doing the same thing: denying our Atheism for fear of being abnormal. We’re keeping ourselves from building up a valid and important part of the Black community: Black Atheists. Today it stops. I will openly be an Atheist to all people.

Also see A Minority, Within a Minority, Within a Minority.

…
I am the co-founder of Secular Woman, whose mission it to is to amplify the voice, presence, and influence of non-religious women. Your generous contributions will go towards my travel expenses to secular conventions and help to keep me blogging. Thanks in advance!  -Bridget

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  • Tommy

    And I thought I had it bad in this little town south of Houston. I sometime wonder about the 90% probability that I won’t encounter like minded atheists folks here yet the reality for black atheists is a 99% percent ostracizing from their culture. The number are estimates but I bet these figures are very close. What to do?

  • Antdevamp

    I completely understand. Your fears are reasonable. Coming out Atheist to religiously inflexible family, work and society, after the ‘acting white’ label is an experience few can share.
    And yet, to be yourself, at any price.

  • Andrew

    “We survived so much hardship that we know, on our own, we couldn’t have done it.” Ergo, God.

    That’s the most pernicious thing about religion. It instills the idea that you’re nothing without God. Whatever achievements you make in life, they would be meaningless on their own, they only happened because a God allowed them to happen.

    If God was good, he wouldn’t have allowed slavery in the first place.

    • Kayo

      I hear you. I had an old friend on Facebook who I questioned about his beliefs. He said that there are things that he know he couldn’t have gotten through without ‘God’. I told him that he doesn’t give people enough credit.

  • http://twitter.com/addictionguy Todd B

    very well said…

  • http://www.atheistrev.com/ vjack

    Excellent post! I’m sure you are right that there are many people out there struggling with this notion of disconnecting from the culture. Having brave people like you to pave the way and demonstrate what is possible will help them feel less alone.

  • http://www.laughinginpurgatory.com/ Andrew Hall

    There was an interesting study that I found on Epiphenom a while ago that shows the negative corellation between the perception of atheists in the culture and negative feelings about them (ie, more visible atheists mean less dislike of them amongst the general population). And I have to say this is one of my constant refrains when communicating with atheists: The basic principles of atheism are simple, living the life isn’t. I’m not just saying that as a white middle class guy who hasn’t had to make hard decisions either: I’ve disowned my parents and sister and I’ve previously dated men. I know what it’s like to be on the outside looking in.

  • Chantal Wallace

    I am a black female atheist as well and people also tell me I need to stop trying to be white. Its kind of sad to think that acting black is associated with grammatically incorrect language, music that puts down women, and a religion that keeps us in a slave mentality. I refuse to maintain these standards and will rise above them, as I believe all people should. And if that want to say that makes me “white” then so be it. I know who I am. Labels can’t hurt me.

  • Adriana6

    You have made a courageous decision, Bridget, one that may be difficult but you won’t regret it. As a Hispanic woman, I often get “looks” when I say I’m an atheist (or even “non-religious”. I’ve always felt out of place in general terms of Latino culture (I’m an atheist and a feminist, a scientist, and certainly NOT socially conservative; I was told no man would ever like me because I was too “intellectual” and “independent”). But in reality, there is no such thing as “Latino culture” if one moves away from putting people in boxes; there are many kinds of cultures and in the end, like-minded people find each other. Good luck and thanks for all you do!

  • http://twitter.com/_timskinner _TimSkinner

    Such a genuine and honest account. Well done Bridget. I never judge people for not proclaiming their atheism. We all have unique circumstances and some battles just yield too few returns. You may or may not benefit much from your new policy but I bet someone, will notice — and be impressed — and be moved to emulate you. And that’s a good thing. Good on you.

  • Mpurifoy

    If one studies the history of the philosophy of evolution one would notice that the evolutionists tend to advocate the elimination of certain people groups, never their people group though. Generally, the black people groups are among the first people groups listed, along with the Jews. Even now we have a push for the elimination of 90-95% of the worlds population. I am sure the ones advocating this believe they are one of the few that should survive otherwise they would eliminate themselves. Like Al Gore wants to reduce my environmental footprint as he increases his own with his mansion and globe trotting. I would think if one would study what the obvious conclusions have been to evolution to see what they will be one should be inclined to cling to God, if just for self-preservation. I cling because He has told us what will happen of we do not obey his Law. His Law is like the law of gravity, of you test it you will feel its effects. It is not as though God is watching and as soon as you mess up there He is to correct you, He is long-suffering, as you can see with America. Look at His admonitions for yourself, here is a link:
    http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=deut%2028&version=KJV Deut. 28. I hope you will find what I have and be blessed.

    • http://twitter.com/GeoffreyBrent Geoffrey Brent

      While you’re looking at Deut. 28, you might want to stop by Deut. 7:12 and 20:16 to see what it says there about “the elimination of certain people groups”:

      “When the Lord your God brings you into the land you are entering to possess and drives out before you many nations—the Hittites, Girgashites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites… then you must destroy them totally. Make no treaty with them, and show them no mercy… do not leave alive anything that breathes.”

      As for “the elimination of 90-95% of the world’s population”, try Genesis 6:13 and 7:21-23: “So God said to Noah, “I am going to put an end to all people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them… Every living thing that moved on land perished—birds, livestock, wild animals, all the creatures that swarm over the earth, and all mankind. Everything on dry land that had the breath of life in its nostrils died. Every living thing on the face of the earth was wiped out; people and animals and the creatures that move along the ground and the birds were wiped from the earth. Only Noah was left, and those with him in the ark.”

      There are many other examples of God’s bloodthirstiness, but I have to go to work, so let’s just stop by 2 Kings 2: 23-24, where God sends bears to kill forty-two children for making fun of a bald man. You know, my hair is going too and I’d be sad if somebody made fun of it, but I’m pretty sure if I had them torn apart by wild animals I’d be a horrible person.

      Genocide: it’s okay when God commands it!

    • http://www.facebook.com/bruce.heerssen Bruce Heerssen

      Your use of the term “evolutionist” immediately marks you as a nut.

  • Not Obama

    I never understood why it was a cultural thing. I wonder if my fellow blacks realise that before we were slaves we didn’t believe in the Christian God (Most plausible Religion we’d be brought up with). Christianity was shoved down our throats in an effort to further the belief that slavery was “God’s will”…. But I digress. loved reading this.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kamrinne.brooks Kamrinne Brooks

    i’m a biracial female atheist and i’ve been harrassed for quite some time. as a kid i was part of a performing arts school group in Miami, predominately made of black people – religion was expected. they actually insisted that we go to church together to foster our connection. i was politically aware enough to basically say ‘it isn’t legal for you to force me to go to church.. this is public school!’ they actually held an intervention in which they told me that i was a satan worshipper. it’s extremely uncomfortable – i get it, you’re not alone!

    • http://www.facebook.com/emerson.ward.58 Emerson Ward

      I’m also from Miami so I am aware of the mentality of the people you speak of. I got the “acting white” label from time to time but I suspect being a 6′ 3″ dude made my “rather act white than like your ignorant ass” line go over a little better. Girls with their cliques, clans, and crews can be pretty cruel, and black girls more so, so I can only imagine the torture you must have endured. I found that raising my standard of company reduced the BS as well as not really giving a shit about what these delusional ignoramuses think also gave me comfort.

  • Tai

    it took me awhile to come ‘OUT’; my parents are african (we all are, in fact) but I soon realized that if no one comes out, if no one stands up, then they will bully us rationalists into undesrved respect for as long as they can or so long as we allow them. I’m fighting back with Tai’s Tees: graphics tees for the nonbeliever! that’s right, I said it!

  • Guss

    I am from Jamaica. When I tell people I am an atheist it is is like I have told them I have AIDS, so I can relate to your blog. I have not told my family though. Not because I fear what they think of me, but because I fear what effect it will have on their relationships with their peers. I personally do not want them to be stigmatized because of me. Its is good that I have good friends and select family that do not judge me on that alone. A couple of free thinking friends doesn’t hurt either.

  • http://www.facebook.com/emerson.ward.58 Emerson Ward

    As a 40 year old Black male this read has confirmed something I have suspected for a number of years now. The reason I’ve never been married is because black athiest women are as rare as unicorns in that I have NEVER met one. It’s not that I have something against women of other races but marrige is tough enough as is. I already know what’s going to happen, I’ll end up marrying the first one that I come across, seeing how valuable she must be!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=639378446 Bridget Gaudette

      The are more of us out there than you might think! Be open about your Atheism, and I think they’ll be more open about theirs.

    • Kayo

      I think you may have met one at least once, but it is taboo for a Black person to reveal that they are not a believer in a higher power.

  • Kayo

    I am Agnostic. I never share that with people offline. Like you, I just tell people that I do not attend church and am not religious.

    My grandmother picked up the sayings, “Have a blessed day” and “We are blessed for (insert whatever trivial reason here)”. It drives me insane too.

    • prairienymph

      I am a white atheist, so I understand that I have a lot of privilege. I just want to say that I appreciate this post. I am scared to come out because my parents will have consequences from their social circles. My church was started by ethnic minorities 2 generations ago. Our Canadian society no longer discriminates against those particular groups to the same extent so I was allowed to identify with the larger culture when I left. And its still scary. Thanks again.

  • Don Rutledge

    I applaud your courage, Bridget, and know that by committing to being truthful with those about whom you care deeply you will become even stronger in your convictions and more determined to live the life that you have dreamed for yourself. I am agnostic and have never been afraid to talk openly about my beliefs, but I know too that there has been a price to pay for this honesty and openness. That price is rejection and isolation. But I try to use my “differences” to spark discussion, debate, and independent thought — all of which are anathema to the prevailing dogma. Stay strong, be yourself, and be proud of your ability to think for yourself and to weigh evidence and argument and personal experience to arrive at the closest approximation to the truth one can know with certainty. I wish you the best, and would relish the chance to meet you and talk about our experiences,

  • Dan Yarbrough

    Hey Bridgett! I loved this article and have added your blog to my RSS feed. Stay strong and keep up the great work.

  • http://www.facebook.com/aketzle Amelia B. Ketzle

    It made me angry when the one lady said the black community has been so much, they couldn’t possibly have done it on their own. I wanted to scream, “But you DID do it on your own!!” Giving God credit takes away from the profound accomplishments humans manage ON THEIR OWN every day.

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  • Thats So Atheist

    Black atheist here. I’ve got one foot in the atheist closet, and one foot out. It’s common where I live for the second question you’re asked by black folks you meet is, “So what church do you go to?” I usually reply that I don’t go to church. The result is often a less friendly demeanor from the questioner after that.

    Once I was at an atheist event where there were only two black people present. The other guy was a Christian who had to be there for professional reasons. I’m used to being one of just a few black people at various events, and usually there’s an unspoken bond, a camaraderie between us, the chosen few, but not this time. When I went over to say hi, the guy acted like I had just run over his mother, backed up, and run over her again.

    My wife jokes with me that if we ever got divorced, I’d probably marry a white woman. She’s probably right, but only because there are so few black women who aren’t suffering the delusion of religion. I know that I couldn’t handle all that cognitive dissonance 24/7.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=773692362 Jansen Waddell

    As a black male atheist from the developing world, I have to admit that the first people to react in a closed-minded way and dismiss my lack of faith as “a phase, he’ll find his way again” are black people. It is a sad irony when someone can’t see that he or she is adhering to slave mentality.

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