Perseverance & Policies

| Fri 1 Jun 2012 | 21 Comments | 1115 Views

Author Emily Dietle

My focus is on state-church separation & social issues. I'm an avid reader, and feel that one of our most valuable tools is the free movement of information and ideas. | @emilyhasbooks

After only attending three conventions, I can attest that sexual harassment does occur- and contrary to DJ Grothe, I’m positive that it occurs at TAM, too. Outside of other women’s accounts, there have been multiple occasions where I was made uncomfortable and actually frightened by sexual harassment and predatory behaviour at atheist/etc conventions. My responses ranged from avoiding stalkers, confronting derogatory and distasteful comments, politely and forcefully asking persons to leave me alone, and finally making informal reports. My counter-harassment efforts were all successful- but only because of my persistence, not because the event organizers had any way to deal with such issues, they didn’t.

It cannot be denied that sexual harassment occurs at conventions, and solutions must be put in place to deal with such incidents. There will be minor disagreements as to what stipulations and consequences anti-harassment policies need to include; dialogue about creating these policies needs to be transparent. I firmly state that all organizations in the secular/skeptic/atheist communities need to have such policies in place- no matter the scale of their events, because harassment occurs everywhere.

While I understand and identify strongly with Rebecca Watson‘s anger about sexual harassment in our male dominated community, we must remain persistent in our quest to have equal representation and safe conventions. Choosing to pull financial support from an entire organization based on one representative’s abhorrent (some would say misinterpreted) statements may be a great tactic to force change, but choosing not to attend does not seem like a permanent solution to the issue.

We need action, certainly true, and my suggestion to Rebecca and others concerned about sexual harassment at conventions is this: contact the leaders right now, and demand that their next event have an anti-harassment policy. If you plan on attending an event, go with an anti-harassment policy in hand, and present it to the leaders if they don’t already have one.

We must be present, persistent, and demand that these issues are addressed. Less attendance of women may send a message and dent funding, but it is not a permanent solution.

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  • http://www.usanap.org Jacob ‘Don Cornelius’ Kramer

    Here for my cookies and cake!!

    It can be denied. But that doesn’t mean the denial is the truth.

    I think Elevatorgate is just the tip of the iceberg. Harrassment can happen anywhere and on any assistive ambulation or elevation device. For every Elevatorgate, we are surely missing 10 Escalatorgates, 5 Moving Airport Walkwaygates, 3 Fireman’s Polegates, and at least two Wheelchair Liftgates!!

    We must be ever vigilant!!

  • http://godsdeconstructed.wordpress.com/ Roger Hart

    Sexual harassment will occur in any situations where humans gather in numbers. It’s not just women, either. I have been ‘touched up’ in the past in a crowd of men. It was highly embarrassing, and it’s not always easy to extricate oneself from the situation. Any group or organization that does not formulate policies and procedures to deal with complaints is irresponsible in the extreme. Procedures to deal with the excesses of human behaviour, like sexual harassment, should be as common as fire safety procedures.

  • http://ashleyfmiller.wordpress.com Ashley F. Miller

    The problem is that the president of the organization personally accused Watson of being one of the reasons that women don’t go, despite the fact that she has done a lot for the organization, including for women. I really can’t blame her for pulling her support under the circumstances.

  • Richard Leslie Whereat

    Elevatorgate is retarded, and that fool Watson was and indeed still is, an idiot.

    A guy asked her to have a coffee with him. The answer if she’s not interested is to say “no thanks”. It’s not to say “RAPE RAPE RAPE!”.

    Tell me, how does the human species continue outside of sex? When do people have more sex if not in sexual/romantic relationships? How do these sexual/romantic relationships begin if not for simple innocuous invitations like his?

    He asked her to his room for a coffee, after complimenting her on her address at the convention.

    But of course, that’s harassment.

    • Richard Leslie Whereat

      But what would I know? I’m just a sensible geek who considers women to be (if not my equal) then at least the equal of men, raised to believe that people are equal to each other.

      Accordingly, I consider that they should act with intelligence, but that’s solipsism.

  • Dustin

    Can anyone define what sexual harassment is please. I am under the impression that it is going to be really difficult to let someone know that you fond them attractive. Just simply saying “I find you attractive and would like to get to know you more” can turn into a lawsuit easily and this can take take place in range of settings such as a night club to being or simply walking down the street.
    I may be out of touch here but how do people approach one another these days without the fear of a person accusing them of sexual harassment?

    • Richard Leslie Whereat

      Sexual harassment is a perceived sexual comment directed at someone who does not find you sexually appealing. Or is offended* at how you phrased it, regardless of intent.

      *See Stephen Fry’s quote on offence.

    • Bill

      Dustin, sexual harassment is defined by the person being harassed. If they’re uncomfortable, it’s harassment. You have to use common sense. Just because you find someone attractive doesn’t mean they want you to tell them about it. Making someone feel awkward is not an appealing trait.

      • Dustin

        I understand not wanting to be uncomfortable. But how would one know how to sell/present himself/herself to a person they are attracted to. Everyone has a different level of sensitivity and preferences on this subject. I grew up in world where portraying yourself as the alpha male is very attractive to women. Unfortunately for me I don’t have any alpha male qualities but many of these women find me attractive but they look past that and consider me too sensitive, soft, less of a man etc. And when I am in a less aggressive environment I am still considered too sensitive. So when I decided to be more aggressive I have positive results. But there has been times where I have been attacked with the sexual harassment claim while being sensitive. Is there a universal way to approaching a person?

        • Dustin

          Excuse my poor grammar.

      • Dustin

        I am just very confused or I just may be socially handicapped.

  • John-Henry

    @Richard – Sure, “elevatorgate” was a horrible mess. But because of idiots like you who radically misrepresent what Watson said, not because of her.
    And even I can tell you’re clueless, at best, on harassment. You are clearly not “sensible”. And your idiocy makes it harder for the rest of us to have discussion on those details that do need clarification.

    • Richard Leslie Whereat

      Riight, I’m misrepresenting exactly what she said.

      But your ad hominems without justification are definitely representing your argument intelligently.

      I’m pretty dead on on harassment.

      Sexual harassment is a perceived sexual comment directed at someone who does not find you sexually appealing. Or is offended* at how you phrased it, regardless of intent.

      *See Stephen Fry’s quote on offence.

  • http://www.reason-being.com ReasonBeing

    Sexual harassment is a real problem and can come in many forms. I think the idea of having a policy is great–and needed. In that policy, a description of what constitutes harassment seems to be necessary. I would not have thought that prior to “elevatorgate” and this entire conversation spread out over numerous blogs. However, that does seem to be the case or we would not be having this discussion.

    For what it is worth, as a 37 year old male I have never been accused of harassment and generally have no trouble recognizing it when I see it. I am truly miffed that there is a debate at all over its existence…let alone a debate to this extent. Harassment is real, I may be wrong on this next point, but I tend to think that if one cannot or is not seeing it, they may be part of the problem.

  • Lights Out L

    I think harassment has less to do with subjective feelings of offense and more to do with taking liberties from another….which may be perhaps a bit more measurable objectively???

  • Julie

    Thanks for helping to keep this issue, denial of sexism, in the news. Last year, I asked the Texas Freethought Convention whether they would implement an anti-harassment policy for the October conference in Houston. While they did reply to another topic covered in that email (a matter of simple scheduling), they completely ignored my brief comments and request concerning attendee safety. Please feel free to refer to this example, and me by name, if you need future examples of women who are concerned about the topic, while still being engaged in the parts of the community that are currently safe enough for me.

  • http://godsdeconstructed.wordpress.com/ Roger Hart

    Assertiveness training can be useful for those who fear harassment but not everyone can afford it.

    Here are a couple of suggestions that have helped others in the past:

    Try carrying business cards with a) your name b) a business, organisation or role description (it can be something vague like Writer, Author or Site Supervisor if you have a personal blog) and c) an email address (doesn’t have to be your regular email address – for instance, I have 5 for different purposes). If you’ve been having a discussion and something like the ‘would you like to come for a coffee to discuss it further’ line comes up and you’re not interested or feel you’re in danger of being compromised, politely hand over a card, saying something like, ‘I find your ideas interesting but I’m terribly busy at the moment and must get on. If you have any further thoughts on the subject, send them by email and I’ll give them my attention.’ Then leave and hurry, purposefully, away.

    If you don’t want to attract attention in the first place, always walk purposefully, as if you have something urgent and important to do.

    If you are worried about harassment never get into a situation where you are alone. Always stay within earshot of a group of people or, preferably be with someone you trust.

    Back at home or work, if a creep you met at a conference starts sending email but has nothing pertinent to say – well, that’s what the junk status was designed for.

    Everyone must come up with their own solutions, of course, but I hope the above may kick start some ideas of your own.

    • Julie

      If an individual wants assertiveness training, fine, but the problem with this framing is that it puts all the burden on the targeted people to change, instead of putting social pressure on the aggressors/abusers to change their bad behavior.

      Rebecca Watson has been talking directly to the leaders of major skeptical/atheist organizations for years, trying to get both more female representation and better treatment for them. She has done a mountain of work on her own. She stands up for herself and others, assertively, constantly. What our society needs now is some BACKUP for this heroine.

  • Pteryxx

    There’s a brief description of what harassment may entail in the anti-harassment policy of Skepticamp Ohio, copied from the GeekFeminism template:

    Harassment includes offensive verbal comments related to gender, sexual orientation, disability, physical appearance, body size, race, religion, sexual images in public spaces, deliberate intimidation, stalking, following, harassing photography or recording, sustained disruption of talks or other events, inappropriate physical contact, and unwelcome sexual attention. Participants asked to stop any harassing behavior are expected to comply immediately.

    http://skepticampohio.com/anti-harassment-policy

    That should at least be a start.

  • Lights Out L

    ^^ bueno!
    The last sentence is the equaliser and the clarification much needed in order to measure any presence of an unequivocal taking of liberties falling within a quantitative realm of harassment.

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Category: Atheism & Religion, Women & Equality