Sexual Harassment: An Interview

| Sat 9 Jun 2012 | 9 Comments | 1272 Views

Author Emily Dietle

My focus is on state-church separation & social issues. I'm an avid reader, and feel that one of our most valuable tools is the free movement of information and ideas. | @emilyhasbooks

Late afternoon on 8JUN2012, Rebecca Watson and I were live on Geoff Berg’s Partisan Gridlock, discussing the implications of sexual harassment at conventions. It took five hours to render the 38min. video of the radio show, and within the first hour of posting it to YouTube, the comments began rolling in. I’ll start off by sharing two of them, and will later post a collection of these, though I won’t likely be responding at length to them.

wait wait wait this woman poses for a nude calendar and she doesnt want to be treated like meat? oh please then why you engage in flirtatious conversation with a guy in the first place, idiot john058

Yes, I posed boldly in a nude calendar. An artistic calendar that was a stand against female oppression, and that advocated for free-expression and women’s rights. It not only revealed our bodies, but our intelligence and resilience as well. Unwanted sexual comments, jokes, propositions and more have nothing to do with my involvement in a women’s rights /free-expression tasteful & artistic nude calendar. emilyhasbooks

whatever you say, for me this is overreacting to something that happens really often, both men and women do this, by your logic i have been sexually harrased by women plenty of times, like the other day i went to a fast food restaurant the girl taking the orders always hits on me and its annoying right, maybe i should complain to every fast food restaurant how this is so sexist and everyone that disagrees is trying to oppress my free speech john058

Perhaps, if seriously assessed, you’d find that you have been victim to sexual harassment, but because of stereotypical gender roles, you are trained not to acknowledge them. For example, sexual harassment, badgering, and bullying are not part of your right to free expression. emilyhasbooks

Pretty girls playing the “sexual harassment” card *SHOCKER* making men’s awkwardness an offense…typical. Poor Womem 2clean4dean

You obviously either did not listen to the show or are so firmly positioned in your ignorant stance that you refused to hear the message presented. Bravo, @2clean4dean, bravo! emilyhasbooks

Of course I’m the one that’s wrong here, being a man and all how could I ever speak on the issue? Its not like I have been hit on buy several peeps in one night then the one person who takes bolder approach, sets me off on a crusade to bring awareness to the issue…Brovo For You for finding a Nobel and unsolvable purpose in life. But stand strong because any opposing view works in your favor but its not gonna solve this, Men have been trying forever to figure “the right way” to approach woman. 2clean4dean

You attempted to tie your assessment of my looks to my activism on issues of actual sexual harassment, so regardless of your proclaimed gender, yes- you’re wrong & your attempts to silence/shame/marginalize will remain unsuccessful. emilyhasbooks

You have bash me more in this convo, so you tell me who’s doing what here? 2clean4dean

Responding to your rudeness/ignorance/bashing in a clear & crisp tone is not bashing, and I’ll lend you no weeping now that you’re playing the victim card. emilyhasbooks

Your approach to put every comment from a man in that context is CERTAINLY unproductive. It seems your no where near trying to fix this issue because you have taken the stance of holy-er than tho here. 2clean4dean

Again, did you listen to the show? We’re playing in an acknowledged spectrum, and you’re trying to draw strict lines. I’m not the one defining sexual harassment, that’s already well done. The aim is a safe & non-hostile environment, and if that means that you have to pause to think before making an unwanted sexual comment/etc to a person, then good. Respect others. This is not a gender issue. All genders experience sexual harassment. emilyhasbooks

I’m trying to better understand this issue, and perhaps find a way to help myself and other men become more aware or all the sensitivities evolved with it. I’m as awkward talking about this as I am approaching woman I’m interested in. So please be patient with me because my hearts truly in the right place. 2clean4dean

Well, to begin, approaching this issue by opening with, “Pretty girls playing the “sexual harassment” card *SHOCKER* making men’s awkwardness an offense…typical. Poor Women” is neither helpful nor understanding. I strongly advise you dive head-first into material about sexual harassment and consent. emilyhasbooks

Dismissive psychoanalyzing is unproductive and distances yourself from doing any good at all.2clean4dean

You stated that you want to understand the issue of sexual harassment, and I advised you read material about it and consent. Also, I pointed out how your first comment was not on the right track. That’s not “dismissive psychoanalyzing, and it seems you’re either trolling or being truly disingenuous. emilyhasbooks

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  • Hasnain Ali Raza

    wow

  • http://web2.airmail.net/uthman Ed Uthman

    I can’t ever put myself in the position of a woman in any context, so I can only sympathize with the negative experiences you and Rebecca refer to. I was always taught to not make anyone feel uncomfortable in a social situation, so I have always tried to follow the Golden Rule, even when I was single (long ago) and in the market for a mate. However, I can tell you from the experiences of a relatively long bachelorhood that many of the male mating strategies you object to are encouraged by a significant subset of women. What you may refer to as “stalking” may be viewed by other women as a signal that the male is willing to jump through the necessary hoops to seal the deal. As long as there are women who reward this kind of persistence with their favors, there will be men who are willing to accept the challenge.

  • Skeptic Secularist

    This is my problem, Emily, and I’m not denying that sexual harassment exists, but as an organizer of the Houston Atheists, knowing that the harassment was going on, why would keep it to yourself until now? It doesn’t make sense that you wouldn’t alert the other organizers of the group if this were such a serious issue and you were truly concerned. I find it suspect that you would wait until being asked to step down as an organizer to bring this out on public radio of all places. Also, I’ve noticed that, on your blog here, it still says that you’re an organizer for the Houston Atheists. Why is that?

    • Emily Dietle

      Anonymously, you claim to be an organizer with Houston Atheists, and state that I didn’t address the issue of sexual harassment in HA. It’s true- I did not bring it up with the other organizers, I did speak with numerous members though. The climate was not one where addressing this would be welcome, so I created the women’s Meetup as a functional solution to some of the issues. … If there is anywhere on my blog that states I’m still an organizer with HA, it’s a mere oversight on my part, as I sought to remove all references there and elsewhere.

  • http://pharyngula.org/ PZ Myers

    Actually, Skeptic Secularist, if you’d actually paid attention to the video, when Emily said she’d been harassed and stalked, she then said that she reported it to the organizers, and they didn’t know what to do.

    The current discussion in the atheist/skeptic community is about making sure organizers know what to do

  • Skeptic Secularist

    “…as an organizer of the Houston Atheists, knowing that the harassment was going on, why would keep it to yourself until now?” This is referring to you, Emily, not me.

    She said, in the radio archive, that she reported it to the organizers of the of the conventions that she’s attended and not to the organizers Houston Atheists. With all due respect, Dr. Myers, I was commenting on her negative remarks about the Houston Atheists. As a member, this concerns me. This is also not the first time that this sort of thing has happened. She has also insulted the mayor of Houston using the Houston Atheists name. I think that many other members would agree with me that such references need to stop.

  • http://pharyngula.org/ PZ Myers

    Strange. So you’re suggesting that a good atheist would not criticize an organization with which she is affiliated?

  • Skeptic Secularist

    That’s not the issue here, she is only just now bringing this issue with HA up after she had been asked to step down as an assistant organizer. Why didn’t she address this with the organizer team before now if it was such an issue? She says that the women’s meetups were started because of the harassment that she claims has happened. There have been two of these meetups (the third is this week), one WHAT meetup per month. She’s known about this problem for three months! Besides that, many of the women that have attended these meetups are saying that they didn’t even know about this problem. Why try to besmirch the good name of an organization that does good for the atheist community? I am certain that if she’d brought it to the attention of the group that it would have been addressed immediately. In fact, after Ms. Watson’s blog on the subject, as well as other blogs thereafter, the subject was brought up due to the concern of the organizer team. She knew this. Recently, Emily has sparked a debate in one of our private pages that has gotten a great response which, so far, has portrayed an image of a much healthier organization than Emily has suggested, showing that our members have much confidence in our organizing team in dealing with harassment issues of any kind.

    • Emily Dietle

      Yes, it’s great that people are finally discussing a very real problem within that organization. Yes, I was asked to step-down for not fulfilling my duties- as I was slowly pulling away from a group that I wholly did not feel comfortable with, and had the resignation drafted. None of my commentary has been in spite though, as has been suggested; I just finally feel comfortable and strong enough emotionally to speak up, and am building resilience to the drama that seems inevitable to surface in the aftermath. Don’t damn me for stating something that I was uncomfortable talking about. I did my best when still involved with HA and started the all women’s group. Now, I’m moving on, and reassessing involvement in all groups.

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Category: Atheism & Religion, Women & Equality