When In Doubt

| Sun 2 Sep 2012 | 11 Comments | 2348 Views

Author Emily Dietle

My focus is on state-church separation & social issues. I'm an avid reader, and feel that one of our most valuable tools is the free movement of information and ideas. | @emilyhasbooks

So, you find yourself questioning the existence of your god. No matter your religion, that’s pretty frightening. All these years, raised to believe that an all-knowing, all-loving being was out there, somewhere, and that he had a plan for you. That your parents and community knew the ‘Truth.’ Most importantly, you’ve been instructed that when you die -if you followed all the rules, or asked for forgiveness- you’d join your loved ones for eternity in a paradise of sorts.

Maybe this started out with some unanswered questions, or some deep seated concerns; now you’ve read ‘too much,’ talked to too many people, and are finding yourself spinning in doubt. Nothing matches up. The once holy texts are holding less sway over you, prayer appears pointless, and worship is an empty act. There are still some things that stick. Perhaps seeing ‘god’ written in lower case feels wrong, and singing hymns still gives you that warm fuzzy feeling. It’s likely that the fear of eternal damnation, and the idea that you really want to see your deceased loved ones lingers, but the bulk of your belief doesn’t feel real now.

 


Let me tell you, this is all normal. It’s a transition, and one well-worth experiencing. Shedding god-belief and superstition isn’t easy, and your individual struggle will be both unique and universal in many ways. It’s important to know that there are millions out there that have either already left their religion, or are currently on the journey out, like yourself.

Keep asking questions. Keep reading, exploring, and digging into the root of your concerns. This isn’t easy, but when you’re coming through towards the end of your transition, and you’re able to see the world without the lens of religion, you’ll be in awe of the majesty that is our existence.

…

Outside of books and forums, the main resource you’re going to need is people; compassionate, understanding people that are or have gone through the same thing that you are. Recovering From Religion can guide you to a local group for support, and if you are a member of clergy, checkout The Clergy Project.

What resources did you find invaluable during your journey out of belief? I welcome you to share them in the comments section for others.

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  • http://www.atheistrev.com/ vjack

    Excellent post! This is exactly the sort of thing that I would have loved to find when I was beginning to question my god-belief. We often forget to write to this group of people, and I’m glad to see you doing so.

  • Tommy

    Support is key to entering the world of logic and reason. If you are living on an “island” like I am, surrounded by people who are scared of a mythical hand smacking them down then you find support from blogs like this one. By the way, I still get a kick out of Handel’s’ Messiah. I love Ride of the Valkyries also but I don’t believe some ladies on winged horses are coming down to take me away when I die in battle.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000053874409 Helena Handbasket

    When I left, I still found myself praying out of habit. I tried to stop but could not. Finally I figured, what’s the harm and stopped fighting the urge. Eventually it stopped by itself. Much easier than struggling with it. The more your conscious mind learns,the faster your subconscious gets up to speed.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=639378446 Bridget Gaudette

    Wow Em. Gave me goosebumps!

  • Dark Arckana

    “All these years, raised to believe that an all-knowing, all-loving being
    was out there, somewhere, and that he had a plan for you.” Not all religions teach this. Or have you simply brought into the pious notion that any people which do not subscribe to Messiahan Dogmas are not counted as “religions”?

    • Tommy

      One way or another all religions expect you to believe in a fantasy that controls your life and dogma that cannot be replicated by experiment. Whether there is a messiah involved or not is irrelevant. Those that break free from this brainwashing are not pious, just free-willed.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=569543522 Kimberly Hebbe

    great post and i’m glad to find others who are going or have gone through the same journey i am… i love the irony that joel osteen’s book is advertised in the bottom right corner :) it just reminds me that religion is ALWAYS there, much like crack or alcohol, you have to make a choice to leave it alone. wonderful :)

  • http://twitter.com/MelianDialogue Rob

    Great article, Emily. It’s especially interesting to me as I’ll never quite understand this process, being a “freeborn” atheist and all. that.

  • tamivox

    My exit from religion “started out with some unanswered questions”. Indeed, the church I attended regarded tough questions as attacks on god’s authority. The few times I tried asking incisive questions I always received a very hostile response. Eventually, with some research, I realized that the answers did not exist, and neither did god.

  • http://twitter.com/FabianWertek TheWordShaker

    When I was getting my drivers license I once sat beside my mother and, while driving through a narrow passage, I looked over to her. Her eyes were closed.
    It was a moment of fear. Not so much because I was in the car with her at the time, but because my parent’s ability to drive a car was a given condition of the world. Water is wet, fire is hot, the earth is in orbit around the sun and my parents can drive a car with 100% accuracy and safety.
    It was this moment that I grew up a little and really started to question my surroundings.
    In the end, critical thinking was even encouraged by my parents. They accept that “Religion is not for everyone. We’ll still love you.” Then again – religion has never played a big role in our lives until then, except at christmas and easter.
    Where did I go from there?
    I found that a good start were some of the more populist versions of atheism. I began watching debunking videos on youtube. I also watched some of the counter-culture films like Zeitgeist 1 & 2, The God Who Wasn’t There and Religulous.
    While I have since learned that some of the “facts” in these productions were sometimes factually incorrect, incomplete or downright lies and propaganda, the overall framework and tone was the same:
    “Your world is not as simple as you think. So think. Learn more. And be skeptical.”
    This has driven me to do exactly that: Continue on my path.
    Today, the people I regularly follow have mostly nothing to say about atheism. Oh, they are atheists alright, but it’s just not a big deal. It is the common ground we start out from and discuss other topics going from there.
    You see, it is normal to be an atheist. It is a valid way of thinking – and in the age of the internet it doesn’t have to be a burden.
    What helps you through in the end are people. My parents just had to step out of the way and not mind me rambling on once or twice at the dinner table. The rest of my family is a mixed bag, but they are tolerant. We’re close.
    Find people you’re close with. It doesn’t matter. Family or friends – if you have no-one to talk to about these things you will find plenty online.
    In the end, you cannot help but make new friends, because as you discover this “new” way of thinking your perspectives on many other things will change (politics, civil rights, local events, etc) and you will have plenty to talk about.
    Good luck.

  • http://www.facebook.com/yusufshakir40 Yusuf Shakir

    grt article

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Category: Atheism & Religion